Thursday, October 6, 2011

Snarky Twilight - Carlisle at the Hospital

[Orignally posted at Ana Mardoll's Ramblings.]

Carlisle: Actually, most of the school seems to be in the waiting room.
Bella: Isn't a bit odd that they'd all come here over the three of us?
Carlisle: Well, in fairness, you three weren't the only students here. We've had several kids come in with minor injuries, and a few more serious cases, due to the myriad car accidents today. Why wasn't school canceled, by the way?
Bella: You're asking me? I just got here.
Edward: Well don't look at me.
Carlisle: (sighs) There must be a reason. Then again, a school that lets the students all leave to crowd a hospital waiting room might very well be the only place in the United States that doesn't know to call off classes when it's icy. A delay would have been enough, once the salt has a chance to work on the roads everything will be fine, but no. They had to fill my beds with teenagers and teachers.
Bella: Finished yet?
Carlisle: Yes, actually. (Writes something on Bella's chart.) I mean no offense, but I hope I don't have to see you again. It sounds like you were extremely lucky this time.
Bella: (Spoken flatly:) Lucky Edward happened to be standing next to me.
Edward: (Gives Bella a "what the hell" look for making it obvious she's lying.)
Carlisle: Before I respond to that, let me ask you something. Would it be more suspicious if I responded with overenthusiastic backslapping for the person who I want you to think is my son, or if I mumbled halfhearted agreement and then ignored you in favor of Tyler's paperwork?
Bella: Definitely the second.
Carlisle: Oh, right, standing next to you... lucky. (Starts shuffling through paperwork and walks to Tyler's bed.)

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